My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
