No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
