he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
