I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
