I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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