I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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