So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
