Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
