apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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