So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
