the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
