I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Randomize
