ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
