How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
