writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
