Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
