thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
