found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
