we're blogging at a bar
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize