Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
