New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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