Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
