Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
