the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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