ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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