Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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