Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
