walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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