don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
