I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
