I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
