he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
