It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
