she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
