I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
