Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize