Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
