I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
