What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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