if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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