No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
