i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize