Michael Bay diarrhea
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
