do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
