This girl is more easily done than said...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
