evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
