is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Randomize