I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
