hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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