I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
