put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
