Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
