When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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