If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
