oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
