i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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