make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
