You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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