Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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