How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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